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“It’s more important to be good FOR someone than it...

Sat, 10 Mar 2012 13:55:39 -0500

“It’s more important to be good FOR someone than it is to be with someone.”
- Jaime Chan

Sometimes, we engage in interpersonal connections with others in our lives and forget the most important reason why we should be connected to these significant others in our lives: being “good for them”.

The misconception of what “being good for someone” often begins when one person decides that they have their own idea or interpretation of what is “good” for the other person. We can often encourage others who value our opinion to do things that seem initially harmless, but may end up having negative long-term affects. Hence, the main objective of the connection is lost because one person is trying to control the other or see what they can get out of it for themselves.

The best outlook to adapt when making friends or especially when starting relationships is to ask oneself: “What exactly can I do or how can I be as a person to be a positive value in so-and-so’s life?”

Sometimes, we just can’t make people happy in the way that we hope to. You can only do so much. It’s the truth. You wanna put a smile on someone’s face. You wanna be their special someone. You wanna be their best friend. Whatever it may be, don’t harbor any expectations because expectations are the only roads to disappointment whether in others or in yourself.

Instead, just do whatever you can. Respect your limits, your boundaries, and your place in their life and leave it up to them to place you somewhere better. There might be times where you feel like you’ve been place in a lower position in someone’s life even though you felt like you’ve been doing everything you can to be good to them. Some relationships and friendships fall that way, but I just know that I’m happy enough knowing that I did what I could and that I still have the capacity to wish them the best, while being leaving room in my heart for them to re-accept me again.

Be good to the people you care most about and make sure you understand in depth what it really means to be good to them. If everyone can do this for each other and be more empathetic, it would give friendships and relationships more longevity. =]

“Sometimes, bad things may happen for us to know what good...

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 17:12:54 -0500

“Sometimes, bad things may happen for us to know what good things mean to us.”
- Jaime Chan

They say everything that happens in life is for a reason. Depending on our intellect and wisdom at any given moment, we may or may not understand the face value of all our circumstances, but the most important part is just understanding versus not understanding at all. It could be a late understanding, or even a partial understanding. Not all lessons in life are learned immediately after a first-hand experience. Sometimes, it takes a sum of other perspectives to construct the view that is necessary to properly interpret our current situations at face value.

If we can’t understand now, then perhaps it would be best if we stay open-minded to be better of the possible outcomes in which things may turn out. Sometimes, we have to have means and be open towards all the possible ends, rather than assuming a certain end just to carry on our means as if it were certified. There is honestly no point in grieving over the fact that something may turn out bad if we’re just going assume that it will be and treat the assumptions like a fact.

Even if things turn out bad, it is all part of a greater truth and it gives us structure to know something that is concretely validated. The truth sets us free. When we come to the end of the road and find that we did not come to find what we were hoping for, the least we are left with is a validation that this part of the journey has ended and we have somewhere else to search.

The people who have treated us bad validated the good people in our lives that we will encounter. The bad things that happen to us validate the worth of good deeds and good circumstances, thus we should even appreciate the negatives because they give us clarity. How can you know what light is if you do not know the darkness of the shadows in which it casts?

Appreciate. Appreciate life. Appreciate the truth. Consider the assumptions, but KNOW the truth and act upon that only. It’ll increase your possibilities to finding good things in life. =]

“Loving yourself is part of the adventure that leaves you...

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:38:57 -0500

“Loving yourself is part of the adventure that leaves you with more reasons to offer to others as to why they should love you too.”
- Jaime Chan

It’s been roughly over three months since I last wrote an entry in this blog. A lot has changed, both for the good and bad - tremendously. However, I am still alive and still I thrive.

What happened? Well, a lot of issues with family, friends, and myself. These are the three groups of people I am concerned with most in my life, with that given order - but that’s the thing. I always put my family first and I often treat my closest friends like family, while I tend to put my friends before myself. To put a long story short, I had some significant people in my life walk out on my, whether it was voluntarily or unintentionally.

But that’s life. So what? What have I gained from these last three months regardless? I gained a valuable reminder of a very important concept: self-love. I have been doing so much for others lately and I have reached this point of spiritual exhaustion somewhere in that three months where I felt like I lost myself halfway, but then I slowly began to realize that I’ve reached this phase in my life where I need to find reasons of my own of why I am worthy of finding happiness in this seemingly empty world.

We often step foot out the door into the outside world with the idea in our mind that we want people to accept us or come to like us, or even possibly for them to love us. Upon reaching this new phase in my life where I have to love myself, I realize that the purpose was for me to be able to convince myself that I am worth loving. How am I supposed to convince others to believe in myself if I can’t even convince myself to believe in myself?

It’s important that I learned to love myself a little more and not lose myself while trying to find others. It really is. I feel like this self-love for myself (if applied with humility) will help me become content with myself so that I do not act towards others with desperation, selfish intentions, or with any other indecent reasons. It will help me find the strength to recover faster as well as become the best version of myself in this one life that I have to live.

Sometimes, people will try to “destroy” you because they’ve simply realized that they have possible ran out of room for growth and they’re just not ready to accept it because they fear your growth will surpass their own. Just remember that these people in your life aren’t even worth adding to the calculations in your life that have to do with your personal goals, because they certainly haven’t. They’re not worth using as a comparative tool of measurement.

It should be about you and the love that you have for yourself. You should love your self enough to know that your life has much more in store for you and that you are entitled to so much more than the same routines and people who might try to put you down in any way.

The holidays may come once a year, but their lessons are important to me all year. View the world with the intention of being thankful. Find your reasons to be happy and remember them always. Give wholeheartedly and give especially to other the things you wish you could receive yourself. Give respect, give pardon, and give thanks always. Always remember that things may end for you to start off the next with more momentum than you had where you left off.

Love thy self and never give up on yourself. You’ll soon realize that you do not have to “try” to convince others to appreciate you. It’ll come naturally once you get it down right. =]

“My wish is for everyone to realize that prayers are made...

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 00:41:46 -0500

“My wish is for everyone to realize that prayers are made to happen.”
- Jaime Chan

It was my birthday recently, and I must thank God for another year in my life.

My life has progressed dramatically, just as anyone else in the world (I assume).

There has been a recent chain of events that probably affected me in the span of almost 2 years, and it was heavy on my spiritual strength to get through it, but I did. From this hardship, I have realized how important it was for me to put faith into myself, into others, and especially God as I carried myself along. Of course, I’ve made some mistakes of my own that caused me to go through the whole ordeal, but it was a necessary learning experience.

I have quite a few heavy regrets and I’m really praying and working towards fixing my mistakes or at least earning forgiveness.

Earlier this year, I adopted this philosophy “Wishes > Prayers”. You know how everyone makes wishes at 11:11, at the fountains when they throw a penny, when they see a shooting star, or when it’s time to blow out the candles?

I take each and everyone one of these moments to acknowledge God and say a prayer instead and put work into getting the answers I’m hoping for.

There are so many things that I want & need right now, but I think that just wishing for them to happen leaves me waiting with uncertainty. When I pray about it and put in work & effort to make it happen, I know that I’m certainly progressing towards it or at least something similar that makes a great alternative.

Believe in yourself.
Believe in the good of others.
Believe in God (or whoever it is that you believe in, for as long as it brings you to do good & positive things).

Don’t wait on wishes to come true, because you could be empowering your prayers to make things happen. =]

“Plan by the years, but live by the days.”- Jaime ChanIn a very...

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 04:27:37 -0400

“Plan by the years, but live by the days.”
- Jaime Chan

In a very brief conversation with my only & older sister one morning — I had gained so much clarity upon the current circumstances in my life.

Life is so uncertain. We certainly don’t know where we will end up, how we’ll end up there, what we’ll do there, when we’ll get there, with who we end up there with, and why we ended up at certain points in our lives that we ponder upon in curiosity. However, what we certainly can get to know is what we want.

Plan. A plan is just a template. It’ll give you structure with your life in terms of speaking upon the future. Of course, no structure is perfect. We will have chips and dents in our plans and the timeline we ATTEMPT to constrain them to, but realistically speaking we will have to adjust to make room the unexpected. Make it ‘earthquake” proof.

We plan by the years and figure out where we wanna be, but live it & carry it out day by day until it all unfolds.

Just believe in yourself and believe in others who believe in you. They have your missing perspective and you have theirs. As long as you keep moving forward you will be on your way to achieving your goals. =]

“You cannot water a tree from its fruits & leaves. You...

Tue, 18 Oct 2011 02:13:29 -0400

“You cannot water a tree from its fruits & leaves. You must water it from the roots and wait for the fruits of your work to blossom.”
- Jaime Chan

Structure. Foundation. Those words alone say so much and explain so much as to why we are the way we are.

We desire structure because it gives us a sense of purpose in our lives. Though our structures in life may be different, our desires to have a structure are all the same. Consistency. Honesty. Genuineness. Expression. These are all very crucial to humans.

To be able to consistently count on something.
To be able to tell the truth and be told the truth.
To be able to trust what is right before our 5 senses.
To be able to express how we feel in the hopes of being understood.

This is all about structure.

Where structure starts is even more important. It is foundation. It is the start of all things we find to be “concrete” in our lives. If you compare structure to a tree, you will realize that a tree that is tainted from the roots shows no hopes of bearing pure fruits. There is nothing you can do to a building to fortify its structure, other than destroying it completely and giving it a more truthful, solid foundation.

A skyscraper of steel beams is bound to crumble on an aluminum foundation. It’s a ticking time bomb and the more you build upon it, the harder it will fall when it does. It’s inevitable and bound to happen, but we have to decide if it’s sooner or if it’s later that we want to deal with it.

Just remember: the most largest structures in the world are built upon the tiniest, but most solid foundations. Let the truth set you free. =]

“Understanding does not come from interpreting many things...

Sat, 15 Oct 2011 19:57:22 -0400

“Understanding does not come from interpreting many things from the same perspective. It comes from interpreting the same thing from many perspectives.”
- Jaime Chan

When we are born, we are innocent. We don’t know any better. We are just young infants yearning to learn and as we get older, we are accounted for our knowledge and understanding of life. We start with one perspective: the learning perspective.

Now, some of us are older & experienced. By the time you are reading this entry, you should have realized that you have gained the trust and love of others by adopting new perspectives and making better, sound decisions in accordance to what you “understand”.

You can learn a lot from the first-person view, but you can learn several-fold more when you learn to look at things from an alternate view.

So why limit yourself?

Expand your views and expand your knowledge, but most importantly - expand your understanding of things. You will understand “who”, “what”, “when”, “where”, “why”, and “how” everything really is.

One circumstance in life alone can offer an infinite amount of answers to life. They may not be the answers you want, but they are certainly what you need. Most importantly, it is the truth.

Find it and you’ll find more of yourself. =]

“Being with someone is more important than just being with...

Thu, 13 Oct 2011 03:18:42 -0400

“Being with someone is more important than just being with anyone.”
- Jaime Chan

Sometimes, all we need is that “special someone”. Some of us just do NOT want to be alone and having a relationship partner is just a “must”. We desire social interaction and someone to relate to. It’s a human thing.

What is divine though?

Loving the person you’re with (or praying to be with) more than the idea of fulfilling your “quest” to be in a relationship.

If someone would rather give up all possible other relationships than give you up from being in their life - this person loves you. If their desire to be with you is far greater than their desire just to be with anyone at all - this person definitely loves you.

This type of loves is built upon the idea that you CANNOT be replaced by anyone. Anyone who feel this way for you is not desperate to be in just any relationship, but to only have one with you & only you.

Figure it out now for both sides.

Does your partner love you more than they love being in a relationship in general? Do you love them the same?

If you both do, then be glad. You’re irreplaceable. =]

“The most simplest answer is usually the correct...

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 17:22:15 -0400

“The most simplest answer is usually the correct one.”
- Occam’s Razor

I recently got into a show on TV called, “Numbers”. Very interesting show, it is. It’s basically about how a CalSci graduate professor in Applied Mathematics uses math to assist his brother in solving crimes for the FBI. I forgot which episode in which this concept came up, but this theory (Occam’s Razor) is an idea that illustrates how one hypothesis out of many that are generated to solve a problem will end up being the correct one to follow through with if it generates the fewest amount of new assumptions.

The idea struck me because it reminded me of how simple life really can be, but how complicated WE end up making it. Thus, I realize that many of the most important decisions we have to make in life actually involve a few, simple choices. However, it is the consequences of some of these choices (usually the “lesser” choice”) that results in a complicated series of unfortunate events.

As a growing society, we tend to want things that are complicated to acquire and we tend to have complicated emotions that make us act in complicated ways, thus leaving us to face complications (consequences). If life is so complicated, then perhaps finding simplicity is the key to living a happy life. Let us keep ourselves simple as possible, so that we may have more energy to face the complicated situations that are actually worth getting involved with.

There is no need to use a something as complicated as a quadratic formula to solve for x + 2 = 4, if you can just utilize a much simpler method to just get the same answer.

There is more than one way to be happy, succeed, or achieve. Whatever you’re trying to get - just know there’s more than one way overall. Don’t do unnecessary things that will complicate your life further than it needs to be.

A simple answer can be found from from a simple approach. =]

“Establishing a habit is like riding on the swings. The...

Fri, 07 Oct 2011 02:53:12 -0400

“Establishing a habit is like riding on the swings. The hardest part is always initiating the momentum, but once you have it - it’s easy to maintain.”
- Jaime Chan

Throughout our lives we are constantly aiming to make improvements, whether they are improvements that may be an reinforcement upon something we may already be doing, or something completely different.

As always, it is very much easier to live our lives to the routine we’ve already adopted. Thus, even though we seek change, it is quite often a difficult concept to embrace.

The one main cause of our inability to perfect a habit is the moment of discouragement when we reach that “resistance”. Surely, there is resistance - but we have to remember that discomfort is not to be mistaken for a lack of progress. It’s like exercising (a habit in itself), which is not very comfortable. We intentionally put ourselves to the situation because the reward is far greater than the discomfort we experience.

Are you trying to make a change? Trying is an act of making certainty out of your goals. As long as you keep trying, you will eventually succeed in adopting a new habit. The moment you stop, the moment YOU make certain of your own failure.

Sometimes, it’s hard to get that momentum. Just remember that success is certainly awaiting once you get your “swing” on so you can get that “lift”. =]

“Friendship is often like a tree in which we only burn as...

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:02:04 -0400

“Friendship is often like a tree in which we only burn as little as possible should we find anything we do not wish to grow on it, for if we should burn it beyond the bad fruits and into the branches, there will be a lot of recovery to be made. Should we burn it too the roots, it will never grow again.”
- Jaime Chan

There are times where we may disagree with our friends or times where we find something about them that we just don’t like and need for them to change.

Although the change is not easily made, we must take some step in addressing our honest feelings in the most honest & humble way. For what good is a friendship if we cannot be willing to accept suggestions from one another to improve its quality?

A disagreement is an essential part of friendship and how it grows. A disagreement is a sign of individuality and honesty to others, as well as oneself. It’s an opportunity to see commitment and humility in one another. It’s an opportunity to see mutuality and willingness to make a compromise, sacrifice, and find common ground.

What’s NOT essential is going further than the original disagreement. Let’s just two friends argue over something that one of them is doing. There is already enough emotions involved, so it’s best to keep it to a minimum and tackle the subject together and ONLY that particular subject.

The most common cause of why people stop becoming friends is because one or both persons in the disagreement have decided that their ego is more valuable than the friendship itself, which sounds like this in our heads, “I’m not gonna lose to this person. EVER. I’m not gonna apologize. I’m not gonna say sorry. Why should I say sorry? They started it, I’m gonna finish it.“

It takes an adult to know what one wants, but it takes a mature person to know how to give up what they want to attain what’s needed.

In defense of this said ego, discerning right from wrong becomes irrelevant because the urge to “win” is more important, thus taking the disagreement to a whole new level as people become belligerent to listen to each other’s pleas. More words are said than needed and most of the time, they destroy the friendship right to its very foundation, rendering it absolutely WORTHLESS and impossible to TRUST ever again.

So just remember: a bad mood may last for a moment, but the damage you can do meanwhile can last a lifetime.

Put down the pride and feelings and pick up the choice to find peace. =]

“Quitting is an act of total forfeit. A retreat is an act...

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 18:41:29 -0400

“Quitting is an act of total forfeit. A retreat is an act of stepping out to win another day.”
- Jaime Chan

Some of us are so caught up with that ONE, single battle that is seemingly ongoing at a constant.

There are times where we feel like quitting, but we just don’t want to because we don’t want to ask “what if”. “What if I would have kept on trying?” or “What if I can better utilize my efforts elsewhere?”

We really don’t know and that’s the part that hurts most because we are self-conflicted with this very single dilemma: not knowing. By this, we mean that we will not know (sometimes) when we’ve reached that point where we are supposed to try even harder to climb over that “hill” or if it’s that point where God or fate or whatever our beliefs lie in is trying to reject us to free us towards something better over a new horizon.

But how do we find the answer? Honestly… It’s not something that we just find by searching most of the time. It’s something that just comes to us and in order to successfully do that, we need to not mistake our morals for our feelings. Because we are so self-conflicted with situations like these, it’s best not to make a decision right away, but to let your feelings calm down gradually over a lengthy period of time. This requires a retreat.

A retreat is a very effective (not perfect) way to get the answers you need. We’re so “all up in the face” of our problems that we too busy staring at in the eye, that we cannot even see the feet (foundation) of the problem unless we back up to observe the bigger picture in a wider perspective. That’s the thing. We’ve BEEN trying constantly to poke and jab at the problem up close, but it’s time to back up and drop it down low (our stirred emotions, that is).

Emotions will greatly affect the outcome of our actions and what direction they take things, so we might as well find out which emotions are in for the long-run and not in for the current “mood”. This will decrease the chances of making mistakes that lead to regrets.

So let’s go on a “vacation”, a “getaway”, or retreat of some sort. Anything that involves more time with YOU, and less time with IT (the problem). It can be a walk in the park, a cruise, a flight, etc. All you need to do is just find the calm in your heart and figure out how you are going to feel in the long run, because your next move will affect you for a while, depending on how important this move is. Do things that require your conscious mind to be occupied because the subconscious is far greater at making choices that are more true to us than our immediate conscious mind.

Once you’ve sorted your feelings, you’ll see how much more clearly you will be able to make sound decisions. We all have battle to fight. If you can’t do it right, pull back, so you can figure out how. Some battles are not meant to be won, but the war is what we mean to win.

Retreat now to find a solution and you will defeat the problems later. =]

“Our spirits are like ropes. When relaxed, they will not...

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 04:05:00 -0400

“Our spirits are like ropes. When relaxed, they will not snap under the stress of a knife. When tense, even the slightest pressure can cause them to break. Ropes will also find tension when holding onto something or when tied up.”
- Jaime Chan

Relaxation.

Never in my life has this word been so important to me. I’ve always talked about it with my best friend, because this was something I identified as a problem in his life: finding relaxation.

After a self-evaluation that I conducted recently to see how I’m coping with my life and some of its recent traumatic events, I wanted to see how I’m doing and I wasn’t doing well. To be honest, I must say so. I found myself to be very tense as a result of these personal problems. Everyone’s got problems. I’m not here to use it as an excuse to mistreat people or ask people to let me slide on my temperamental behaviors. I’m here to apologize and acknowledge that I am too tense at the moment.

Life is not enjoyable when you have to live it so far on an edge, because it eventually makes you feel so doubtful that you can actually relax & put your guard down. Life is not enjoyable when you have to live paycheck to paycheck. Life is not enjoyable when all you can think about is how to pay this month’s rent. Life is not enjoyable when you have to wonder “what if”, or think “maybe”, or say something followed by a “but”.

Nothing is truly earned without a hardship. True indeed. However, balance is still essential. It’s good to work hard, but let’s not forget the purpose: we are all working hard because we are expecting some kind of reward. Whatever it may be, it must remain as the only thing we truly focus on at all times, only this time - it is subconsciously in our awareness.

When we are tense - anything is more exponentially likely to get us to crack emotionally. You won’t be as open as you normally are and it affect everyone around you. You won’t be as happy or as interactive and it will easily surface as a bad mood or bad temper. So give yourself a break. No point in repeating the same mistakes by trying to handle the workload you’ve got with the same approach, same dingy mood.

If you find yourself stuck with something that has you very edgy - take several steps back and give yourself some time for yourself to collect some more mental strength. It’ll improve many things, including the way you see people, the way you treat others, and the likelihood for you to succeed and continue even when you are discouraged to do so. When your emotions are all worked up, you are more likely to quit and give in when it’s not even what you want for life.

So why possibly risk a value lifetime over the mere emotions of a moment? Relax and treat yourself so you can actually feel rewarded for your actions.

Relax, unwind, and step back into the game when you’re ready. It isn’t going anywhere. =]

“Quite often, we finish things as we started them.” - Jaime Chan...

Wed, 14 Sep 2011 03:18:11 -0400

“Quite often, we finish things as we started them.”
- Jaime Chan

I know that this isn’t always the case for us, but in terms of speaking of the norms - the way we start things can often be the way we will end up finishing it. What I mean to imply when I say this, is that our lifetime is comparable to a day.

- We start off waking up. (infants)
- Then we are supposed to have a nutritious breakfast to kick start our day. (childhood)
- Then we engage in our daily occupation such as school or work. (adulthood)
- Then we come home and enjoy dinner, followed by family time or leisure activities. (vacations)
- Then we go back to bed and we close our eyes. (older age)

Pretending this list illustrates how a typical day works, our breakfast is essential. In our day, breakfast can greatly determine the amount of energy we yield throughout the day. It can improve our moods and our brain functions for all the tasks we must take on that before we get to lunch and dinner and in between. Breakfast is simply, single-handedly the most important meal of the day. It gets you STARTED. You can’t expect to go about your day and just enjoy a dinner at the end and expect that you have gotten a lot done, nor could you expect that dinner to kick into your system the following day.

What is the significance of “childhood”? It is learning. Our childhood is ALL about education (intellectual nourishment) & the “lessons of life” that we learn (which is HOPEFULLY where we find spiritual nourishment). There is a lot to be learned at school to grow smarter and a lot to learn outside the classroom to grow wiser. Just like how breakfast has a great impact on how we carry on with the rest of the day, our childhood greatly affects how we carry on with the rest of our lives. A lack of nourishment or a poor “diet” of intellectual & spiritual nourishment can have a traumatic effect on one’s life.

Why do we need to be aware of this? It’s because we are more than capable of overcoming this problem. Maybe we didn’t have the jump-start that we wanted to begin with, but there are so many of us who are capable of performing extraordinarily even with the lack of breakfast combined with a lack of sleep, and with problems in our minds. Humans are simply amazing and we are capable of amazing things. Of course, starting off on a good foot is definitely something we should aim for, but if it can’t be helped, the best thing we can do is to carry onto the next “meal”.

Just know that there will be a time where we will have to do the “feeding” and give nourishment. Whatever we didn’t learn or get to enjoy as a kid - I think that is something specific we should aim to provide for the kids we end up raising or having an impact on. Whatever happiness we were deprived of as kid should be something we should the thing we work hardest on to provide for the next generation. If today, we face things such as war, famine, and poverty - we as the current generation must work to restore peace, wellness, and prosperity.

If we can’t get the start we wanted, then let’s give it to someone else who needs it. =]

“Two planes may have knocked down two buildings, but one...

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 03:49:37 -0400

“Two planes may have knocked down two buildings, but one tragedy has strengthened one nation beyond quantitative measures.”
- Jaime Chan

First and foremost - I just want to offer my prayers to anyone who has lost someone in the September 11th tragedy. Lives have been taken from you, but I hope that you continue to be strong and to make our faithfully departed to be proud of their living legacies. I commend you all for your strength and I hope all of you will have benefit somehow from this tragedy. May God give rest to all the souls of our faithfully departed & grace all their families with His healing presence. Amen.

Imagine. The things you found “repetitive” and “boring” in life, vanishing in a very instance without a single warning. Could you just accept the fact that many of the people you were just hugging, kissing, and laughing with yesterday were no longer alive? With no chance to say goodbye, no chance to apologize for those trivial disagreements, no closure to unfinished business and grudges, they are just gone.

It’s a terrible reality to accept, yet there are so many among the 9/11 victims who have been dealing with this cruel fate for 10 years already. It just goes to show: some of our lives are NOT that bad. It could be worse. Some people really aren’t that bad either. We may all have our own feelings, desires, and necessities - but you can never weigh those things on a scale against the value of innocent lives. Humans already face natural disasters, natural illness, economic difficulties, and accidents already. Tragedies like 9/11 are sad, additional tribulations in mankind’s history.

I believe that this tragedy should not only be a cause for political unity, but a reminder that life can end in any instance. Things & people should NOT be taken for granted. You may not have a 2nd chance to fix things between you and a certain person. You may not have another day to show someone that you love them. You may not have another day to exchange apologies to close a gap in your bonds with the people you cared about.

If maybe we remember how valuable life is, those lives could have been lost for a greater purpose. It’s up to us to be their living legacy and carry on positively to live the dreams that they did not get to live for themselves.

Don’t let a tragedy be a necessity for you to find compassion towards the people in your life. Learn peace, love, and unity the “easy “way. Don’t let a death in your family teach you how to apologize for your mistakes. Don’t let a breakup teach you how to value your partners. Of course, you’re not going to be perfect - but at least try to learn things without having to face a tragedy.

There are 2 levels of wisdom. Being able to learn from your own mistake is the least of wisdom, but those who can learn from the mistakes of others without having to experience it themselves - those people are the most wise of the whole lot. We can learn to appreciate things while we have them as opposed to learning to appreciate things after we lose them.

Unite. Love. Apologize humbly and forgive respectively, for every human being we meet in our lives is at least worth being a potential “friend” and life can separate us in any moment of our lives. Let’s all be friends and face humanity’s problems together. =]

“Focusing does not imply ignoring the surroundings to make...

Thu, 08 Sep 2011 01:55:57 -0400

“Focusing does not imply ignoring the surroundings to make sensory emphasis on a single subject. It is an implication of emphasizing the subject of observation through a surrounding of distracting variables.”
- Jaime Chan

For every goal, there is a challenge - but the challenge is not for us to fail against, but to find our resolve. We fail when we give up. That’s the bottom line.

However, failing at one thing means you now have a choice: try again or try to succeed in something different? In any case, what meaning would success have if there was no risk of failure? In fact, the greatest of triumphs were those achieved in the face of the greatest chances of failures. THAT is something to be proud of. Courage is that will to continue walking, even when the road gets dark and we cannot see the end of our trials.

Courage lead us to this very day. If you have the time, find a calm place and think… Think of all the struggles you have overcome just to be here today. The fact that “today” is on your calendar - that alone is proof that you have the strength you need to overcome the problems in life because even though the problems of life are seemingly increasing in difficulty, YOU have been able to increase in mental strength and resolve.

That’s why I say, “Focus.” Part of the challenges in life include the temptations that are there to distract you. Let’s not forget to include the decision-making part and the feelings that will stir you and confuse you. All of this will be a confusing mess to deal with. We haven’t even added the social interference either. There are so many factors that will affect how you will act in a situation.

So focus. Temptations feed your weakness, not your strengths. They will make your weakness grow. The “easy” way out often deprives you of the “growth” you are supposed to experience in each challenge. Emotions come and go, but your problem is still the same. People will try and tell you what they would do, but it’s up to you what you end up doing.

Focus. That doesn’t mean you have to “ignore” all the factors of the situation around you. It means you will remember that your goal is to succeed righteously and pave your own way into it, even when all the distracting temptations, emotions, and people attempt to deceive you into thinking that you have no other way through the problems in your life.

Whatever you may be dealing with, just acknowledge that there is actually a good way to go about it. Visualize it, acknowledge your challenge, and conquer. Even though you’re looking through telescope, you can find what you’re looking for even with a distracting mess around it. Just take a step back and you’ll see. You’ll remember what you were looking for before you got confused. =]

“The majority of the time, we call it...

Mon, 29 Aug 2011 15:08:58 -0400

“The majority of the time, we call it “stress” when it’s really just the consequences of our actions.”
- Jaime Chan

Truth be told: we have to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Just like we might read in a fortune cookie.

Even though we may have the best intentions, any action or decision we make may possibly yield the worst results. My oldest brother once told me that people can’t use the following statement for a premise of justifying that they should be trusted to drive someone else’s car: “I’m an experienced driver. I know how to drive safely.” He rebutted with the statement, “Someone can be the best driver in the world, but they have to realize they could be on the road with some of the worst drivers.”

It is absolutely true and realistic. Even Saints walked among sinners. In fact, Saints were picked out of some of the worst sinners. There will come a point in your life when you will have to be honest with yourself and realize that some of the things you are currently “stressed” about are actually consequences of decisions you may have made in the past that have finally appeared at your doorstep.

Your interpretation of what a “good decision” is doesn’t always match what reality dictates or what others view to be a “good decision”. The first time you do something wrong, it’s considered a mistake. The other times you repeat the same action, it’s called a choice. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” I love this quote because it tells it like it is. It’s up to us to learn from what we do. I’m not saying it is wrong to make mistakes, because we all make mistakes and we learn from them or we provide those mistakes for others to learn from them.

The only thing is: every action will be followed by a reaction. If you’re honest enough, you will realize that it’s not “stress”, but a consequence. If you can come to terms with these consequences and accept the reality & responsibility - you will cope much better. I’m pretty much saying “YES. Bad things happen to good people.” Even though there is danger out there in the paths we take, we cannot get to our destination without the risk. Always stay cautious, stay righteous, and truthful with yourself & with others.

There are some “stresses” that can actually be avoided. The ones you can’t avoid - THAT is what you call stress. All we have to do is acknowledge the consequences of what we do and make the choice to do better things that have a better list of possible consequences. Don’t distort the truth and live on your own version of it to justify what you do. If you decide to, just realize others have the right to do the same to you.

If your actions conflict with the feelings of other people, don’t just expect them to stay in your life. If you’re going to stand by our own morals, expect that people will walk out of your life - because when they do, you can’t be “stressed out” about it. It was YOUR choice. Some people are not worth worrying about, while some are. Always evaluate the situations you have in life.

Just ask yourself: “Are you really stressing out or should you have known that your actions would cause such a reaction?”

Be real with yourself and you will see others be real with you. =]

“The truthful gestures in life are given, not...

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 17:43:56 -0400

“The truthful gestures in life are given, not demanded.”
- Jaime Chan

As tough as it may seem… You won’t know the integrity of person until you give them the choice. Leave it up to them, but express what you truly want beforehand. See what they do. Will they respect you? Will they remain honest with you? Will they put you first before themselves? Will this person fix their mistakes? Will they apologize? Will they put down their pride and personal feelings for the sake of peace? All these questions circulate in our head.

What’s a big disappointment? When they do the worse of the all outcomes that you imagined. What’s an even bigger disappointment? When you force them to do the “right” thing before you realize that they did not do it upon their own will and integrity, alongside the fact that they did not learn it on their own. Sincerity is a gift, not an acquisition. It’s not something you initially gain, but that which is initially given.

Just like flowers. A flower is just a piece of nature. Many think the flower is beauty for its physical appearance, its smell, and such. If people loved flowers that much, they’d be buying them for themselves. The true beauty of a flower lies in the concept of giving, especially if given by someone who has no interest in flowers - because this person did not have to be asked to buy something they had absolutely no interest in, yet they took their time and effort to do so.

Christmas and birthdays aren’t the only good times to give, nor are there any other special occasions that qualify to be the “perfect” occasion to give someone a gift.

Give the gift of sincerity. Make it honest. And heartfelt. Do it with integrity.

Our lives aren’t measure by other people’s standards or what other people see. It’s measured by our own standards and what’s really going on behind the scenes. If you want a good life, think more about what you can give to someone who needs it from you and you will see the reason why life is worth living.

The best things in life are never asked for, but they are just given to us. We all just need to pitch in at the same time. =]

“The people we teach can often be the ones we learn most...

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 15:39:46 -0400

“The people we teach can often be the ones we learn most from.”
- Jaime Chan

I was explaining to my brother from another mother about something that I’ve learned as a kid. It was about teaching and my specific reasons for it. To me, teaching is a learning process. Teaching is something that we are learning how to do. In the practice of teaching, we learn more than we anticipate and often - we’ll learn more by the end of the lesson than what we actually taught.

I like looking through the perspectives of others, especially those who acknowledge me to be “talented”, “knowledgeable”, or “wise” and I often respond “Thanks, but I just trying!” To me, If being talented, knowledgeable, or wise is measure by comparison - then I am neither of the three. I am just decent, because I do not wish to belittle anyone who feels that they are anything less that I am.

Where perspective plays in the role of teaching is that when I look at the people who ask me to teach them or guide them - I see myself. Right there, in their shoes - that’s where I came from. I know for a fact that I once shared the same struggles of trying to learn and master the same things, whether it’s a skill, talent, or an approach on life’s situations. I was there. I wanted to improve. I was once that “tadpole” that didn’t grow my legs.

Being able to teach and guide people is a beautiful privilege in life, especially when you do it with an open, sincere heart. Some people aim to be the best, simply just for comparative reasons. I’m aiming to be my personal best. No comparisons. I simply just want to be the best version of myself so that I can teach something to others who can improve even further the things I have passed down to them. It’s a personal interest of mine to just be a witness to humanity’s greatest capabilities as a whole.

We learn from mistakes. Not just our own, but from the mistakes of others is where we also acquire new knowledge and wisdom. Be the changes you want to see in the world and generate the changes you want to see in others if it really matters to you. Maybe through your ability to commit to helping them, they can realize and learn that they are able to commit to helping themselves too.

Teach others about your mistakes and learn from theirs. =]

“No matter what happens between you & a certain person...

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 15:37:29 -0400

“No matter what happens between you & a certain person - always have a restore point. If both of you can remember what your core values in each other are from the start, then you have something to rebuild from, no matter what happens.”
- Jaime Chan

There are times when things just aren’t working along between you and another person in your life who may mean something to you or may potentially mean something to you. Feelings may change, confusion may occur, and as more things pile up - things aren’t the same as they were before. It can be heart-breaking and heavy on the conscience, making it hard to even breathe throughout the day. This is especially if you have the intention of sticking to the person with high hopes that one day, the both of you can return back to “normal”.

When this happens, it’s usually a sign of a bond that is slowly deteriorating as the same methods are being used to preserve it OR the same mistakes are being made. Therefore, we have to “reset”. Restart. Start afresh. Reassess your values toward each other. Nothing can change what happened, but certainly we can change how we go about it. The way I see it, bonds are like plants. They may not be very fruitful for reasons caused by something that may have occurred in the process of nourishing them. However - if we cut the faulty stems and make the proper corrections in nourishing the roots, it will surely grow the right way. All it takes is patience and willingness to start from scratch.

A “restore point” is essential. It gives us something to return to and rebuild from. It’s not going to be perfect, but it’s actually another fragment of the immense compassion that humans are capable of showing and that is quite often underestimated. Establish a “restore point” with everyone you value and make sure that the both of you are on the same page in this subject. Agree NOT to make the same mistakes. Agree to make things right. As we place each in a higher position of our lives, whether it be “best friend” or “relationship partner”, we tend to have higher expectations and a totally different perception of this person, making everything more personal. If we cannot mutually agree to correct ourselves and stay honest - it just won’t work.

Never forget the goal you had in mind and what you were originally aiming for. We are trying to bear fruits in friendship & love. If we truly love each other, we are willing to start afresh when things aren’t going well - all with the shared hopes that we will bear the same fruits we wanted to from the start. The ability to commit to something like this grants any bond worthy of being called “unconditional & genuine”. These are the bonds that will never break, but that can only be “cut down” temporarily before they grow to be even more fruitful.

If you all can mutually agree with the same amount of sincerity and dedication: don’t let your bonds go. Start over. Take things slowly, do things righteously this time, and rediscover why you became “best friends” or “fall in love” all over again with the one you love. Take it step by step and make it count. The bonds that take the longest to strengthen are the often the ones that the take the longest to weaken. Maybe you started off wrong, but you can still finish right =]